santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   waiting for Santa to smack me and say ho ho ho

   the reason Santa even has a naughty list!!!!!

   got Santa in a headlock

   wonders if dyslexic devil worshipers sell their soul to Santa

   wondering what the hell Jesus ever did for Santa on his Birthday?

   considered atheism, but there weren't enough holidays.

   thinks Santa Claus has the right idea. Only visit people once a year

   Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!!

   santa's overated.

   plans on dressing up as Kanye West for Halloween and just before the kids yell "Trick or Treat", jump out of the bushes and yell "Christmas is better".

   Keep it up and Santa's going to stick a candy caine where the sun don't shine.3 hours ago clear

   letting everyone know in advance that I want something shiny that will go from 0 to 120 in 3 seconds for Christmas... and bathroom scales WILL NOT be accepted.

   Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

   On Dasher, On Dancer, On Prancer, On VISA!!! Christmas shopping time.

   says, "Dear Santa, I know it's a little early....but could you DEFINE naughty?" ;o)

   writing a Christmas list: Shamwow, Snuggie, Flowbee and... a Chia Pet

   Anyone caught singing Christmas carols between now and Thanksgiving will be slapped.

   I didn't get a toy train for xmas like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by

   "Dear Santa, seeing you cant define naughty, is it possible you could overlook september for me"?

   Christmas shopping for dangerous toys. For kids I don't like.