tsparks Funny Status Messages

   i have learned that pleasing everyone is too hard, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake

   It's all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw

   "I'm strong because I know what it's like to be weak."

   Whenever I wait behind a door to scare someone, they always take too long to come, so I leave disappointed.

   Was that lightning?" Nooo... they're taking pictures for google earth

   When people ask for candy I'm eating, I give them the flavor I don't like.

   FACEBOOK" The second most popular word that starts with “F” and ends with “K”...

   smaller the breasts, better the eye contact

   Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.

   That one minute party you have when the teacher leaves the room

   The first 10 years of a girl's life is spent playing with barbies & the next 10 years are spent trying to look like one

   I will do anything humanly possible to reach the remote without getting up

   anyone gonna tell Americas Funniest Videos that theres youtube?

   Does your a** ever get jealous of the big amount of sh*t that comes out of your mouth??

   I study. I take the test. I pass it. I forget what I learned...

   If you never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from the lava then you didn't have a childhood

   I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice

   I failed the quiz by 1 point, the last question was " where do most women have curly hair" apparently the correct answer was "Africa"..

   Dear Mom & Dad, when you said- "Let`s go", I assumed you were ready to go also. Sincerely, Been waiting in the car for 20 minutes

   I respect the person who let girls into the army. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable