sellers Funny Status Messages

   Just seen the Facebook group: "I wish my laptop had unlimited battery".What, a plug?

   For a guy who isn't affected by gravity, I'm pretty down to earth

   I got water trapped in my ears after taking a shower.. It was a near deaf experience

   I bought a treadmill today.It's giving me a run for my money

   I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

   i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

   I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'

   I woke up at 3am naked and holding a watermelon.

   Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.

   Have you noticed you very rarely hear one liners about cocaine.

   chasing vodka with french fries

   it tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.

   i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand

   Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela

   Insomnia: Inability to sleep until it is time to get up!

   We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.