rudeDOG Funny Status Messages

   Happy Humpday ...........hump like a camel and get down and dirty like frog nuts!

   I watched Abc's show 'Happy Ending'....totally not what I expected. It was a regular show. WTF! haha!!!!(mood:cheated)

   in an open relationship with Maria Shriver

   Dear Schwarzenegger, You were a 'Running man' from your 'True Lies',and your 'Predator' ways will have you spending your 'End of Days' with 'Junior'. Good thing it wasn't 'Twins'.(mood:first mistake was going 'Commando')

   Fella's: If your wife says she might be pregnant. Saying"I am pro choice" Is frowned upon......apparently!

   Today I seen a hitchiker giving me a thumbs up.....I guess he like my Facebook status??

   you know you have been drinking to much when a cop get's behind your car and you ask yourself if you had been drinking today!

   Believing Harold Camp is kinda like believing O.J. Simpson as a character witness at a murder trial

   I ran out of deodorant this morning and tried my wife's Secret deodorant and I can tell you fella's it really is "strong enough for a man, but ph balanced for a woman."

   A homeless man comes up to asking for change,I say"change comes from within" he looked stunned.

   Im not saying your chick is ugly at all. She just reminds me of Bald Bull on Mike Tyson's punchout

   Judging from all the Facebooks post,I am coming out with a fragrance that smells like fresh rain!

   A smart ass is someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is.

   am giving up a few negative people for lent. So, if you call,text,facebook or email and I don't get to back to you?? Odds are it was you

   I got in trouble at the movie theaters for putting a 'wet floor' sign infront of the door to"Magic Mike"