punkie Funny Status Messages

   Never run after a bus or a woman....There will always be another.

   Busted, Disgusted, and most of all, I can't be trusted.

   Confucious say , he who eat jelly bean, fart in living color.

   Awkward....That moment when you think you are being helpful by telling someone they "got a lil dirt on their forehead" and they tell you it's Ash Wednesday.

   OK, Super Moon has arrived. Not quite what I expected ., it was kinda super. Not Super Duper but yeah.

   I think long engagements are important because you should really get to know someone before you totally use and degrade them.

   The definition of irony: Not knowing the difference between a definition and an example.

   A womans legs are her best friends but sometimes even the best of friends must part.

   I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.

   Whats the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches......

   What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

   If a robin makes red babies and a bluebird makes blue babies, what kind of bird makes no babies? A swallow.

   Did you hear about the elephant with diarrhea? It's all over town.

   Why do they no longer offer drivers ed and sex ed in schools in Mexico? The donkey died....

   What does Barbara Bush and Charlie Sheen have in common? They both like to blow a little dope.

   Dealing with haters is all about mind over matter. I don't mind cuz you don't matter.

   To the gal who posted that guys are "creepy" on facebook, dont flatter yourself. You're not all that.

   There is a wondrous tranquility being in a work restroom stall in an empty restroom. The song of evacuational freedom may ring unbridled and resonant.

   How many women does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, she just holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

   How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her.