mustangdru Funny Status Messages

   looking forward to the Lunar Eclipse tonight. I considered having a viewing party and inviting all the witches I know. But then I realized having all my ex's in the same location is probably not a good idea.

   jamming out to my Best of Rebecca Black Collection.

   Just saw Transformers.... Greatest Transformer movie ever. I thought the lack of any actual Transformers was a bit odd, but Jim Carrey was hilarious & those penguins were adorable!

   This really ugly girl asked me earlier... if I thought she was attractive. I didnt want to be mean and I also didnt want to lie. So I thought for a second and told her I thought she was "Wal-Mart Sexy".

   They say, "You are what you eat" ... The thing is, I don't remember eating a sexy b!tch.... oh wait a minute. Scratch that....

   From now on when some one places a depressing FB status we should all just like it. I'm sad.. my life sucks..FML.. no one loves me.. LIKE That way they get the attention they want and maybe just maybe will get the idea that FB isnt the place to tell ever

   FB isnt the place to tell everyone your life blows..... everyone knows it the place where you pretend your life is awesome!

   if I was any more fun I'd be boobs and bubble wrap

   Terrell Owens held a work out for NFL teams today,was televised by ESPN &the NFL Network.problem was no NFL teams actually showed.Reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite when Uncle Rico is videotaping himself playing football.How much you w

   How much you wanna bet I can throw a football over them mountains?

   If it's true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that's fat, ugly and stupid.

   Why take Davy Jones?? Peter Tork would have been a much better Monkee choice.

   I'm glad the real referees are back... my fantasy ref team has really suffered.

   The Mayans were so incorrect that... Obama just won their electoral votes.

   Ps4 $399 xbox $499 ....... I think I hear Microsofts sobs from here.

   I wonder if Kanye West's baby cries in autotune...

   I wonder if anyone's kids had their first day of school today?