moon Funny Status Messages

   if you want a sneak preview of the new IPhone 8 just look at your IPhone 7 and pretend it cost $999 more.

   To all my friends having a identity crisis, I love you, and you know who you are, I think?

   When I was a kid I thought I would never grow up to be the type of person to go out running every morning. And I was right.

   Its a little frustrating how my speakerphone literally types everything I say exclamation mark

   A new study says that a lot of people on social media today will believe anything that starts out by saying a new study says.

   Roses are red, facebook is blue no mutual friends, who the hell are you?

   I think some of my friends are completely irrational and make bad decisions, and we should hang out more.

   So I now have 921 friends on my friends list and I just wanted to let you know that you are all awesome people and I love each and everyone of you!!! <3 Except #631

   Just cleaned up my friends list, so if you can see this post it means you've made the cut because your special!....or my worst enemy I just want to keep an eye on.

   I have all the world's knowledge at the very tips of my fingers where I can find the answers to life's most perplexing questions! and here I am googleing What did Oscar the Grouch do if he overslept on trash day?

   So how did Amish.com happen?

   I believe in Santa! but I'm not so sure if he believes in me?

   Its beginning to look a lot like, I'm starting to get sick and tiered of it being cold and miserable out and I'm ready for summer!

   If you touch your phone in the right places a hot pizza will arrive at your door!

   I'll never understand those baby on board signs? Like thanks for letting me know as I was just about to purposely ram my car into yours for absolutely no apparent reason until I saw your sign!

   If you touch your phone in all the right places a pizza will arrive at your door.

   When I was a kid I used to have an imaginary friend, but now thanks to Facebook I have hundreds of them!

   Loving and all these Christmas photos you're posting of your families who look as joyous and festive as the family who came with a picture frame I bought a while ago, who I also don't know.

   When a girl says "Aw that's that's very sweet of you" to a male friend who asks her out on a date what she's really trying to say is "Back into the friends zone with you!"

   A word of advice guys, When a girl says "Aw that's that's very sweet of you" when you ask her out on a date what she's really trying to say is "Back into the friends zone with you!"