kauffman Funny Status Messages

   currently in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.

   celebrating 1 year of sobriety today…I think it was 1972...

   apparently is not working fast enough today...the boss just walked by and said the last job I did was half-fast...

   you can have my FourLoko when you pry it from my cold, dead drunk hands...

   can't decide which one goes better with cranberry sauce...Grey Goose or Wild Turkey?

   there a video feed in my bedroom that I don't know about? All these people talking about "He is risen" are making me suspicious this morning...