katinthehat Funny Status Messages

   ~ A teacher at a school for overweight kids was fired for sniffing cocaine. His massive pupils gave him away.

   is kind of surprised I'm not an action figure by now.

   hates it when old relatives come up to you at weddings and say, "You'll be next, dear". I'm sure they wouldn't be too impressed if I started saying that to them at funerals.

   keeps a fake journal claiming she's done monumental stuff, so if she ever develops amnesia, she's gonna think she's freakin' AWESOME!

   ‎~ Lindsay Lohan staggered into court. The judge explained, "Ms Lohan, you've been brought here for drinking", to which Lindsay replied, "Great! When do we get started?!".

   got a phone call from the credit card company this morning, telling me that I have "outstanding payments". I said "Why, thank you very much!".

   once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.