jason Funny Status Messages

   The Guinness in the refrigerator is calling my name with a drunken slur.

   had a dream that this woman was trying to kill me with a butcher knife...which makes me think the woman of my dreams is not someone I should be looking for.

   bad decisions make good stories.

   Thinks someone needs to invent a sarcasm font.

   Just saw a baby with a shirt that said, not everything stays in Vegas.

   I camped out for 3 days next to my computer to be first to get Missoni swag and then the site crashed when I clicked the buy button..

   I heard you, I only said "Huh?" to buy myself time to make sure I answer your question correctly.

   Its called the Fast Lane, NOT the Speed Limit Lane, so move over!

   Behind this innocent smile of mine, lay words that go unsaid. Words of longing, love, anger, and hate, all repeating inside my head.

   Just heard the news Bobby Brown is still alive

   I don't usually talk to people who use the words "SWAG," or "YOLO." But when I do, I order a large fry.

   The average toddler laughs over 200 times a day. The average adult laughs about 17. At age 42 peekaboo and I got your nose is just not as funny anymore.