gay jeffrey Funny Status Messages

   My legs are so white they signed their kids up for way too many extra-curricular activities.

   I comb my hair using a fork and start talking about astrology to myself each time I see a Jehovahs Witness walking towards me in a restaurant.

   I wish the cast of Jersey Shore had to compete in the Hunger Games.

   Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I'll ever get to yoga

   Damn you hot girls on FaceBook who post "beach day!" pics but 'only share photos with friends'

   f all of your pics are taken from from an overhead angle, I have to presume you have a big hairy mole on the bottom of your chin.

   I'm not buying that "Oops, I accidentally deleted you" line again sausage fingers.

   Turns out trolling LinkedIn for ladies to s3xt with was not such a good id

   my "people you may know" is filled with douchebags who deleted me, oh no does this mean I'm the pretentious ahole?

   Mayor Bloomberg is going to outlaw large sodas. Good to know that New York City is officially out of legitimate problems to deal with.

   "Mrs. Doubtfire" and "The Santa Clause" use the exact same plot formula.

   Like and enthusiastically comment on every photo your aunt has posted to facebook. Turn the tables

   Zuckerberg was going to steal your photos but saw that copyright status you posted and went back to having more money than you ever will.

   look, I'm only liking your status to let you know that I read it so you won't try to tell me about it later.

   schools are back in session. Remember if you study hard enough there will still be no jobs when you graduate.

   turns out, Chanting "I'm not creepy" in front of a mirror doesn't make you feel any less creepy.

   Les Miserables is French for "It's two and a half hours"

   Lol here come all the brand new Redskins fans

   Making snow angels & writing Ron Paul underneath because people need to know the truth

   Somewhere, Joe Rogan's date is texting while he talks about supplements