g0re Funny Status Messages

   If you truly understand me, you'll let me be annoying.

   If you truly understand me, you'll let me be annoying

   Women are like stamps. We lick them and send them on their way.

   Life is just like an ice-cream, enjoy it before it melts !!

   I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.

   Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter Bad: She keeps interrupting Worse: With corrections

   Good: Your son's finally maturing Bad: He's involved with the woman next door Worse: So are you

   When you wake up the first thing you do is roll over and check your cell phone

   There would be less drunk driving in the world if Jack In The Box delivered.

   I wanna have a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.

   I have Big Boobs, I am amazing at Call of Duty, and I can make a really good sandwich, Unfortunately I am a guy...

   umm can I have a coke?” “is pepsi ok?” “I dont know is monopoly money ok?”

   Can someone text me a in & out burger?

   Waking up after a night out and knowing you could write The Hangover 3.

   yes we know you are heartbroken but please stop posting all those sad youtube songs.

   When I see a hot girl in a Movie or on T. V, I google her name to see if she has any nude pics.

   I like mario. he's cool. he's all like " hello, I'm maaarrio, I'm a Italian plumber created by japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican."

   It's annoying how people on facebook, post sad youtube videos or lyrics because they aren't over their ex. I've always wanted to say this to you. your ex doesn't give a crap, Your depressing post piss me off to no end, and I don't think he/she loves you.

   There's that little bit of you that secretly thinks you'll be famous some day.

   Don't you hate it when you're angry for a certain reason, and someone makes you smile. It's just.... just... I'M TRYING TO BE ANGRY DAMMIT.