curly Funny Status Messages

   My neighbor OD'd on Viagra. His wife took it really hard

   Never play Uno with Mexicans they will steal all the green cards.

   My wife walked in the room with crotchless panties and said eat this. I said hell no look what it did to your underwear.

   There was kidnapping at our local school today. The teacher woke him up and told him not to do it again.

   Why dont they serve hotdogs at a gay picnic. because they taste like shiiit

   Bill Cosby is in JAIL-O

   I am so bored, but not ckean house and do laundry bored.

   I bet people's pets are just loving this quarantine

   Debating if I should clean the inside of my refrigerator out. Or just unscrew the light bulb.

   I accidentally took my cats meds this morning... Don't ask meow.

   Girlfriend asked me if I seen the dog bowl. I said no but that would be very interesting.

   I looked up lighters on Ebay and all I could find was 13,749 matches.

   Man injured in a bizarre peek- a- boo accident...He's in ICU.