Udit Funny Status Messages

   Kate Middleton Is Now Officially A MILF

   The best thing about Valentine's Day is that it's over.

   So many girls are in a relationship with single guys.

   To my future kids: You'll start off with a flip phone. Idgaf if the iPhone 15 is out by then, you're gonna know the struggle.

   Why do girls associate their selfies with a deep yet irrelevant quote, I do not understand the correlation.

   Girls have their phone nonstop. So if they don't text you back within 30 minutes, she ain't feeling you bro.

   The best part about daylight savings is that the clock in my car is correct again.

   Putting "it's complicated" as your relationship status on Facebook is saying "I f*ck this person sometimes and I'm pretty hurt about it"

   Sorry I shot you in the face with a tampon. In my defense, you were acting like a giant v*gina.

   “Friendzoned“ should be a relationship status on Facebook.

   NO Relationship Is Perfect, So You Might As Well Pick The Perfect Person To Go Through Hell With.

   You don't know heartbreak until you see the waiter coming to your table with food but then take a sharp turn to a different table.

   If they feel the need to point out your flaws, THEY might be your biggest one.

   Facebook got 2 billion to burn even though the site is 90% candy crush requests & fake news that tricked your grandma.

   If you're ever feeling down on your appearance, remember: even the ugliest potato can become a beautiful French fry

   The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

   Life isn't a fairy tale. It's a fill-in-the-blank choose your own adventure scratch & sniff colouring book with missing pages and random highlighted passages that make no sense to anyone but the author.

   Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.

   As soon as you get in a relationship, everyone wanna send you that 'I miss you' text.

   You lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about losing you.