Snotty Funny Status Messages

   Due to the holiday my status will be closed... I Will reopen tomorrow at 8am. Sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.. Enjoy your day people!!

   ■If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. ~D.Larson

   "Addadictome",,,,,,,,,,,,,You know,, It's a procedure,,,, I think Chaz Bono had it.

   Huh?,, Daylight Saving Time is this weekend?,,,,I'm not going to lose any sleep over it

   I predict Peppermint Patty invites herself and her friends over to Charlie Brown's for Thanksgiving again this year

   ..Hey,,, Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his neighbor in the woods?

   Hey,,Just started reading "The Chubby Checker Story". No spoilers please,,,,,,, apparently there's a twist.

   Ummm,,,,Why do all these old bands keep copying glee songs?

   I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music,, denigrate means ‘put down'.

   I promise to avoid all cliches like the plague.

   (texting from my jail cell)Yesterday was International Ninja Day, when people were encouraged to carry toy weapons and wear black masks. And as I found out the hard way, my bank wasn't celebrating it.

   Molasses is surprisingly tasty,,,, However, I have to admit,,, I have never actually tried any other parts of a mole yet,,so,,,,,,

   Ugghhh ! I literaly just saw a chicken cross the road in front of my car,,, and FORGOT to stop and ask him why......... (Stupid,stupid,stupid,me)

   I LOVE sleeping,,,,,, It's like being dead,,, Without all the commitment

   The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing

   I have a theory that the world will end in 5105, and we've been reading the Mayan calendar upside down

   I heard that people who talk to themselves tend to be extremely smart.. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that.

   I'm so old... I grew up in an era where you had to go to channel 3 to play video games.

   I'm wearing my pajamas and buying booze at 10 am on a Tuesday…Yeah,,I probably don't need a receipt

   I was thinkin,,,The obituaries section in the newspaper would be more interesting if they told you how the person died.