Scmc1st Funny Status Messages

   Just overheard this damn near 65 year old lady say, "I'm still single cuz I ain't met the right man yet." Thought to myself, "Oh, you gonna meet him soon. His name is Jesus..."

   Why regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted...

   I like to sleep naked, so if there's any kind of emergency I immediately make it sexy...

   It's 2016, if you're still liking your own posts, you should take your own fist and punch your own face...

   This lady called the cops on me cause she opened her closet and I handed her a blouse. And y'all wonder why chivalry is dead?

   I've dated a vegan and a vegetarian, and please believe me, they do put meat in their mouth...