OsamaBinDead Funny Status Messages

   5 reasons why I'm not a pimp. I remember birthdays, I give rides to the airport, I lend money to people, I relax on sundays and I have a horrible backhand..

   im just grading some cheese...

   Okay, in case we get caught... lets get our stories straight

   Most common lie used by women.... "I dont usually do this the first night"

   why buy a 6-pack when you can buy a 12-pack, why buy a 12-pack when you can buy a 24-pack.... screw it, I'm gettin a handle of jack

   Captain dislike came through and hated all the funny things he cant come up with... some one get the bad news bear some f**kin honey

   Im starting to think my dog is a spy... she has simply seen too much

   We cannot allow gays to marry! It would destroy the sanctity of our prestigious divorce rate.

   We should cease calling them ski masks, because really only robbers wear them.