Nate004 Funny Status Messages

   I Absolutely hate when my touch screen touches things I had no intention of touching.

   I know how to spell, so why do my words make no sense when I try to verbally spell something for a friend?!

   What did girls do with a 174 picture photo album of a night out before Facebook?

   No Cyndi Lauper...you're so very wrong. Girls don't just wanna have fun...they want a whole lotta sh!t. Christmas blows. Sincerely - A broke boyfriend.

   the words "epic" and "swag" must be abolished at some point. But then again Snoop Dogg has epic swag.

   Imagine if people were punished like dogs and had our noses rubbed in wrong doings? "Aw man, forgot to take out the trash" Welp, untie that bag and get your face in there. Look at him, he knows what he did.

   Someone should come up with a cell phone charger extention cord.

   How can everyone have the "best gf/bf in the world" on Facebook? I'm pretty sure someone is lieing

   I f*cked a fat chick in an elevator...it was wrong on so many levels.

   During sex you burn as many calories as running 8kms. Who the f*ck runs 8kms in 30 seconds?!

   You remind me of my pinkie toe because I know I'm eventually going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my place.

   I think aussies were the first to jerk off into a sock. How else would they come up with the boomerang?

   When life sucks I sit back and enjoy the head

   My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my pen!s and asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating your dinner" was not the right answer.