Morm Funny Status Messages

   Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.

   This just isn't my day... It could be raining t*tties and I'd get hit in the head with a d*ck...

   no one looks back on there lifes and remember the nights they got plenty of sleep.

   Finally figured out what twitter was today, the thing between the twaat and the sh*tter.

   Need an Ark?, I Noah Guy. 

   Wanted GF. A girl with good cooking skills and a jet ski, please show pic of jet ski.

   There's only one kind of exercise I know and its the beer run.

   The fishin was so bad the mosquitos weren't even biting

   when life throws skittles at you and tells you to taste the rainbow, just throw m&ms back and say I'm not afraid.

   My boss asked me why I wasn't working today. I dont him I was going as Obama Care for Halloween

   I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I think that means I have 2020 vision

   you know its cold outside when you go outside and its cold

   I haven't seen a beatin' like that since someone stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.

   If that dress isn't Gold and White I'm not living

   I haven’t wanted to drink an ice cold beer this bad in a bar since I was underage.