MiMisHouse Funny Status Messages

   I don't always have time to Spring Clean, but when I do, I Don't!

   You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score! WooHoo!

   Hey, little regular fry in with my curly fries. Just be yourself, buddy.

   Never put all your eggs in one basket.....unless they're chocolate.....and it's my basket

   Ah, yes...what lovely blouse shall I stain with food today?

   First that idiot cut me off in traffic, then he steals my parking spot, and now his stupid car got paint on my key!

   The probability of someone looking at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

   It's a good thing that not everyone owns a smartphone..Someone has to HONK when the light turns green.

   Remember children, the best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.

   You can tell the age of an artificial Christmas Tree by the lines of tape wrapped around the box it's stored in.

   If your grandma got run over by a reindeer, you may be entitled to compensation...Cal 1800 HURT HAHA!

   If you say the word "Rum-balls" without rolling the R...are you even pronouncing it correctly?

   No, I didn't gain weight over the holidays....I'm just retaining Christmas cookies, that's all....

   Stocked up on the Merlot and chocolate. Bring the 3 week corona quarantine!

   What kind of idiot would think ingesting disinfectant would kill coronavirus? Everyone knows if you buy tons of toilet paper, you're protected from ever getting it, to begin with!

   If it has yellow and black stripes, I run the other way, fast!