Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

   Your friendship means so much to me that... When you cry...I cry. When you laugh... I laugh. When you jump out a window... I laugh some more.

   doesn't believe in superstition. It brings bad luck.

   wonders... do subliminal (send) messages (me) really (money) work?

   feeling as sprightly today as Jim Morrison... or anyone else who has been dead for 30 years.

   Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There's apparently more traffic going to hell!!!

   sweating like a cat at a Chinese restaurant.

   "Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools."

   At the beginning of any relationship, every girl treats her boyfriend as "GOD." ... 'Later on somehow the alphabets get reversed!!!

   If you ever want to see a man cry... Put a beer in one hand and a naked woman in the other... And... MAKE HIM CHOOSE!

   discovered today that playing dead only comes in handy when face to face with a bear, and NOT at important business meetings.

   disappointed that no matter how many times he bangs his head, he doesn't see any cartoon birds.

   if drinking and driving is illegal, then why the hell do bars have a parking lot?

   Some people think that I assume the world revolves around me, which of course is total nonsense. The world revolves around the sun, which shines out of my a$$.

   Don't call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious."

   keeps a fake journal claiming I've done monumental stuff, so if I ever develop amnesia, I'm gonna think I'm freakin' AWESOME!

   ☂ *~Everyone wants to be happy , Nobody wants to be in pain... But you can't have a rainbow without any rain~* ☂

   A girl broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution??? I sent them to her dad.

   thinks life is pleasant, death is peacefull... it's the transition that is troublesome.

   Don't try to understand everything.. because sometimes it is not meant to be understood... but rather to be accepted...

   Women like having four animals in the house: a jaguar in the driveway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskull to pay for it.