Lonnie Funny Status Messages

   whoa they've gone way too far when they disarm Elmer Fudd

   Who has the guts to tell Shaquille O’Neal that the General has been seen riding around with Snoop Dogg?

   My behavior during the Pandemic should earn me the Nobel Peace Prize

   During the quarantine we got a better chance of seeing Bigfoot than Howie Mandel

   Let me get this straight. I should wear a mask, gloves, sunglasses and a hat. That sounds more like a disguise to me

   Breaking News Adam Schiff has proof that one of Donald Trumps kids is the missing Lindbergh baby

   They need to change all of the street signs on my street. It seems that stop, yield and speed limits have no effect. They should change them to “safe Drivers save 40%

   Does anyone know if Santa will be sending out a progress report?

   Hypocrisy seldom gets the contempt that it deserves

   If the fine for not wearing a mask is $100 for the first time. Does anyone know where I can get a season pass?

   I gotta stop taking that Ambian for sleep. When I went to sleep we all agreed that Segregation was wrong. I woke up this morning and it’s ok again? What did I miss

   Does anyone know if we have any wiggle room when it comes to the 6ft distances rule?

   Maybe the Pandemic Shutdown of 2020 was organized by Keyser Soze

   If $1200 was crumbs. What is $600 a bite