Lawdawg Funny Status Messages

   Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?

   The DOT sent me the wrong personalized plates. They say ASSMAN

   If there is enough room to spell 'bootylicious' on the back of your shorts...it probably isn't

   Brandi from 'Storage Wars' has humongous jugs

   concentrate on fixing your own heterosexual marriage before you lecture on what's wrong with their relationship

   When I was a kid we were so poor. We couldn't afford Easter eggs so my mom would hide her ben-wa balls in the yard instead. And if we didn't find them all she would be really mad.

   My doctor gave me six months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill. He gave me another six months.

   Apparently Michael Douglas has not heard of Orbitz gum

   Hugh Heffner...the only person who we can truly say is not in a better place now...