JeffW Funny Status Messages

   I just spent our "Halloween Candy" money on a couple of cases of Samuel Adams OctoberFest beer. I hope the trick-or-treaters are happy with some of the Sweet'N Low packets and Bounce Fabric Softener sheets that they are getting this year.

   Watching these individualized Facebook movies while I am alone stinks. There's no one to ask "What did she just do? or Who is that guy?"

   Stevie Wonder says the dress is black, but then again everything is black to him.

   Half my Facebook friends have just become immigration lawyers within the past week!

   I just saw a man with one arm go into a second hand store.

   Well, I guess we are going to see "The Nutcracker" on Saturday! My mother-in-law, not the play.......

   Oh, the weather outside can bite me. My car won't start to spite me. I can't feel my freakin' toes. Winter blows, Winter blows, Winter blows.

   People that cheat on their taxes disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 28 dependents in...

   From what I've been told by inside sources, Pete had the most votes in Iowa, but Bernie Sanders keeps insisting that they be distributed equally.