JEBI Funny Status Messages

   I feel bad for my american friends... they only have 2 idiots to choose from in their elections...50/50 chance of getting it wrong...

   If you're undecided...vote for the one that held the most babies...

   My American friend says he's going to vote for the one who is willing to making the Pringles tubes biggers....as soon as he gets his hand out of one.

   I just made Romney noodles Obama self : - /

   China's "one-child per family" policy is being ended -- because not enough babies. Apparently it's so bad over there that some factories are actually hiring adults...

   And the winner for the best reader of a teleprompter award goes to...

   Mitt Romney's campaign slogan, 'Keep America American,' the same as a phrase used by the KKK? Interesting...

   Alright...who else is making plans to move to Colorado?

   Denver is going to be the mile "really" high city...

   John Denver's “Rocky Mountain High” the new official song for the state of Colorado...

   I just bought the new vi@gra flavor ice cream...its been 4 hours and it still hasn't melted...

   I've single handedly defeated my erection...

   I'm wondering if my mail order bride from the middle east comes with a bang?

   I've reached an age in my life where "you shouldn't say that.." turns into "what the hell, let's see what happens..."

   Today is the American Thanksgiving or as we in Canada like to call it...Thursday. Happy Thanksgiving you funny people...

   I always hold the door open for women… even if they don't want to get into my van…

   If she can still walk after se x to make you a sammich... then you're doing it wrong...

   This is the time of year when you can put mistletoe in your back pocket so that people who don't like you can kiss your...well you know...

   What is the difference between a Snickers and Justin Bieber? The Snickers has nuts....ZING...

   There... crazy glued quarters to the ground in front of the vending machine at work...let the fun begin....