HotTea Funny Status Messages

   Happy "Hold my beer while I light this" Day!!!

   Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!

   It's official! I just bought my first bag of Halloween candy...that will NOT make it to Halloween.

   Wait... what? Han is now gay and that is why Leai goes on the suicide mission where she dies?

   I wonder if my cat thinks I'm cleaning my ice cream?

   Smooth jazz version of "In bloom" playing on KCRW right now. Somewhere Kurt Cobain is killing himself all over again.

   It's 4/20, remember to leave out milk and cookies for Snoop Dogg!

   eports now surfacing that there was a brief conflict between Charles and Donald about who is in charge.

   There are Pumas wearing shirts with Usain Bolt's likeness on them.

   An Asian in charge of Transportation? That's like putting a fox in charge of a hen house.

   I feel a disturbance in the Force. RIP Carrie Fisher.

   I've I heard people want to boycott Beauty and the Beast because there's a gay character in it. It's okay for a teenage girl to fall in love with a rabid, hairy dog, but you can't have a gay person in a movie?

   Happy National Day of Predation.

   In my future defense, I was not running from the cops, I was running from the cameras

   I wish there were private counselors who would meet you at a chipotle and let you pour your heart out while you stuff your face.

   Somebody clearly missed the opportunity of a lifetime when they called the game Mario Kart instead of Mario Speedwagon.