Geez Funny Status Messages

   whats everybody worried about with Gilbert Arenas...its not like he can shoot anymore!

   I know Gilbert Arenas likes to shoot, but this is ridiculous!

   I know Floyd Mayweather likes to dodge but this is ridiculous!

   what do you tell a woman who has two black eyes... nothing you've already told her twice!

   two cannibals are eating a clown...one says, does this taste funny to you???

   you know that feeling when you pick your nose and it all comes out in one long string... thats how I feel right now!

   *holding my shirt* excuse miss, would you consider this boyfriend material?!?!

   Tiger Woods is doing so well at the Master's, you might think he was cheating!

   I'm not that big on Volcanic Ash... I'm more of a Volcanic boob man!

   Eyjafjallajokull is more like a baby typing on a computer than a volcano!

   Earth Day - Keeping Earth cleaning than Uranus...

   NBA Wives is a better name than "The Ex-wives and ex-girlfriends of ex-Miami Heat players that weren't really that good except for maybe Shaq...

   Mondays! Pro: Start of a fresh new week! Con: It's still Monday!

   What a tortured soul... He never really figured out what Willis was talking about....

   hates when his hand falls asleep, it usually means it's going to be up all night

   wow just found out Jimmy Dean died! this is gotta be the wurst day ever...

   Spain or Germany??? --Spermany!

   World Cup Finals... Its Heineken vs. Sangria. screw it, lets get drunk!

   I'm not drunk... I'm just tired from drinking all day!

   I hate when my foot falls asleep... it usually means it's going to be up all night!