Darkharbinger Funny Status Messages

   The Log Cabin Syrup logo is offensive to trees

   Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to fly a helicopter.

   price doesn't always equal quality. A 50 dollar hooker works harder than 250 dollar hooker.

   I may not know much, but I know mayo doesn't go on a taco.

   How come when someone is missing the media makes them out to be a saint? Why not just say 'yeah their a jerk but lets find them anyway?'

   Knowledge is knowing that hot peppers are a fruit; wisdom is putting them in a fruit salad.

   'We've all bet on a fart and lost' is the best example of the Human condition I ever heard

   The Wicked Witch of the West said it best: What a world, what a world

   Saving daylight? Who am I, Superman?

   Them: What kind of person are you? Me: I'm a place or thing, thank you.

   I haven’t been this excited about a new year since last year.

   Today is 2/366. This is a leap year, which means the earth gave you an extra day to make things how you want.

   Every drop of water on earth has been through multiple kidneys at this point.

   No New Year, No Groundhog, No Valintine, and now no New President. Holidays suck anymore.

   never forget, you are a part of the universe that became sentient for a while and decided to post pictures of cats on the internet

   President Thomas Jefferson once said, never believe anything you read on the internet.

   I asked to 2024's manager today, it was 2021

   You know, while we’re at it, don’t look directly at me today either.

   When your phone dies and you realize you're jealous

   she is never yours, its just your turn.