DAYAM Funny Status Messages

   doesn't want to brag or make anybody jealous . . . but she can still fit into the earrings she wore in high school!!

   thinks chicken patties are just really big chicken nuggets...

   thinks it's time for us to let the Statue of Liberty hold up that torch with her other arm for awhile.

   thinks whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously never sold marijuana...

   thinks instead of asking why your dog eats out of your cat's litter box, maybe you should be asking why your cat is pooping delicious treats!

   thinks that Edward Scissorhands should be very much afraid of Edward Rockhands...

   going to name her next pet Peeve.

   Quick!! Someone make a status update about tomorrow being Monday and how you're already counting down the days until the weekend is here...

   has a new slogan for TSA: Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants!!!

   When playing The Telephone Game, I like to whisper to the next person, "I'm going to kill you," and then nod and smile encouragingly.

   just spent an hour at Walmart and I no longer believe in evolution.

   Hey, does anyone know if the Bears are playing today?

   Obesity doesn't run in your family - NO ONE runs in your family!!!