Cyndi Funny Status Messages

   How did I end up on the naughty list? I sold my soul to Santa as a kid for better toys. Too bad I'm dyslexic.

   watching hard core pawn is like watching when animals attack. If this is what people in Detroit acts like we may need to put a border fence around it and just pay Canada to take it.

   fat is the new skinny

   I'm gonna get a tshirt made that says ' I survived the end of the world and all I got was this lousy tshirt

   how are we gonna kill all the zombies if obama takes our guns away.

   Help me spread the word all over the internet that I am a millionaire. cause if its on the internet it has to be true.

   in honor of it being 3 days into spring and so cold we will be barbecuing Punxsutawney Philly steak and cheese tomorrow

   walk dead fans. ever notice that the grass out side is never high. so do zombies mow the grass when they are not eating brains. I dont mow my grass for 2 weeks and I cant see out my living room window.

   Ok word of advice ladies. a muffin top might be kinda cute but if you have a 3 tier cake top please don't go out side. you scare people. just sayin.

   I say let them burn ferguson to the ground and watch them cry tomorrow cause they don't have anywhere to spend their foodstamps.

   If Hillary becomes president she will be the first F President. Oh, sorry. I was going to say female, but the "emale" got deleted.

   Anyone look in the mirror and it looks like you have hail damage on the back of your thighs . Asking for a friend.

   I just wonder when they are going to post the videos of the new teen challenge "blow off your left leg challenge" or the new "decapitate yourself challenge"

   If CN N told you the only cure of covid-19 is to jump off a bridge. Which bridge are yall going to choose...

   Sitting here wondering. Did anyone ever figure out where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

   If the Wuhan lab had been in Vegas we wouldn't have to worry about this virus cause what happen in vegas stays in vegas

   How come no one has came up with a skeleton turkey inflatable with a santa hat on so you can put it out october 1st and take it down after Christmas.

   Presidents day is canceled until we get one.

   Dr fauci just announced we all have to wear jock straps now to stop the spread of covid

   Anybody on Meth need a job??? I'm opening a haunted house soon & I need zombies