CindyAnn Funny Status Messages

   I have no point.... I have a sharp knife tho, will that make up for it?

   Here is the line _____ do me a favor and don't cross it.

   Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!"

   sure that if I ever went to a psychologist, he'd tell me that ALL my personalities are fine...except my REAl one.

   Remove all the vowels from boys = BS, remove all vowels from females = FML

   "You're beautiful. No, you're beautiful! No, No, you're Beautiful. No No No. You're beautiful." -Girls on Facebook Profile Pictures

   There is nothing quite like the pang of disappointment you feel when you realize that you have pressed the wrong button on the vending machine as you stare at that damn granola bar instead of a hunny bun.

   10 times out of 9, you'll find me exaggerating about something.

   That "dammit" moment when you forget to take your phone to the toilet so you just sit there like "Now what do I do...?"

   ♥ ♥ ♥ Heartworms ♥ ♥ ♥ Not as cute as they sound.

   When I get old, I don't want people thinking, "what a sweet old lady..." I want them to worry, "I hope she's not armed..."

   If Facebook really wanted to entertain us, they'd make it a requirement for people to share their "mental status" in addition to each new status update.

   If I ever get Amnesia, don't waste Thousands of Dollars taking me to a Psychologist. Just show me my Facebook account.

   thinks that proofreading is my worst enema.

   thinks that "Ignorance is bliss" is my personal motto because it hasn't steered me wrong and even if it has, how would I know?

   refuses to swallow my pride. The last thing I need in my diet right now is more empty calories.

   I was carrying groceries to the house the other night, when Justin Bieber played on my mp3 player. Had to bang my head on the trunk until my earphones fell out.

   A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.

   If I ever get a Jury Summons, I figure I can just send them a link to my Facebook page to get out of it.

   I'm a kind and generous person, except for those days when, for no apparent reason, I hate pretty much everyone.