COREY Funny Status Messages

   Buck you fuddy, and your whole dod gam family! Why don't you go backoff in your own jackyard and see ho your fussy peels?

   wondering if Tiger Woods is dreaming of a White Mistress?

   would rather check Facebook, than face his checkbook!

   just heard about the 2 blondes that froze to deat at the drive in...they were watching "CLOSED FOR THE WINTER"!!

   had a girlfriend with a wooden leg, until he broke it off!

   wondering if Shaq has my back, how come he never pays my cable bill?

   says having kids means having pictures in my wallet where I used to have money!!

   resides on the top of Mountain Dew.

   wonders why when you are eating Starburst and ask someone if they would like one, they always want a "red" one?

   used to sing like Justin Bieber...then I turned 4!!

   wondering if Sugar Daddies get anything for Father's Day?

   a firm believer that drinking beer makes you you smarter...I mean, it did make Bud weiser!!

   wondering how much you would do for a klondike bar.

   Hey Florida, if you need an Ark, I Noah guy!!

   thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!

   thinks it's great that my truck will tell me when I have low air pressure in one of my tires...nut it would be even better if it told me WHICH freaking tire needed the air!!

   ran my first 5k today...finally I said, "Lady, take your purse!!"

   never really understood why Clark Griswold lusted after Christie Brinkley, when he had a smoking hot wife like Beverly D'Angelo!!

   My life hasn't been the same since McDonald's removed the HI-C orange drink from their stores!!