CHris Funny Status Messages

   wants to remind everyone it's not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off!!!

   Life was much simpler when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.

   reading a book....yea I know I was shocked too

   Iron man is a superhero...iron woman is a command

   I don't know what makes my friend more a loser the fact that I found a Rihanna's cd in his car or the fact that he always likes his own facebook status.

   is watching "according to Jim"...god definatly took the wrong Belushi

   I don't trust girls with mustaches.

   If you love cats adopt one. If you hate cats support the Chinese cuisine.

   was looking through my wallet and found the condom I had in there has a hole poked in it...touche gas station attendant

   If it wasn't for the fact that I had to pee, I'd never get out of bed

   expecting life to treat you fairly because you're a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge at you because you're a vegetarian.

   looking back those D.A.R.E classes were really a waste of time

   Whoever keeps shaking the snowglobe.... "STOP!"

   Dude instead of all these credit card companies sending me all these applications they should donate the paper to schools or something!

   The sign says "Smoke Free" That's Good.. I hate the places that charge you to smoke!!!

   I just recieved my "Magic Jack" as seen on TV. It's important to listen and pay attention. Evidently this "Magic Jack" is some phone/internet crap!

   Lebron needs to start asking himself WWJD ( what would Jordan Do?)

   Tone Loc arrested for domestic violence, he shouldn't of drank that Funky Cold Medina!

   Earthquake- 1 ......my pants- 0 .....who knew that the earthquake would cause a mudslide.........

   The human race as a species is done. People are actually thinking Nicolas Cage is a vampire. Hooray for civilization.