Aaron Funny Status Messages

   How much horsepower does your horse have?

   Multiply that by infinity & take it 2 the depths of forever & then you will have some vague idea what I'm talkin about...

   death gotta be easy cause life is hard. It'll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred

   as Vice-President of Toyota I would like to say please dial 1800-our-bad.

   on the first date, don't let on that the cost of the meal worries you.

   when your life flashes before your eyes, make sure you've got plenty to watch.

   Dear IRS: Please cancel my subscription.

   if The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me.

   it's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

   Earth is full. Go home.

   all I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.

   don't let your mind wander. It's too little to be let out alone.

   Only a few of us have that special talent to trip UP the stairs.

   if I'm not back in five minutes.....call Obama. He'll know what to do

   do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience

   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list...

   I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

   I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I'm going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You'll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.”

   Squirrels - Nature's Speedbumps

   life is like a roll of toilet paper...the closer it gets to the end> the faster it goes...