@smokepuff4 Funny Status Messages

   When you sleep naked after jerking off without washing up...make sure you don't put your thumb in your mouth.

   Getting high on life has never helped me get a handjob in a toilet stall.

   I was holding my girlfriend's hair as she was puking and she farted at the same time. We broke up because I couldn't stop laughing.

   Fact: Men that drink wine coolers increase their chances of getting a yeast infection by 99.9999%.