@mollyfaerie Funny Status Messages

   the more guys I meet, the more I love my dog :)

   can't seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.

   eating alphabet soup and my spoon spells 'HOT'. Not sure if I should take that as a warning or a compliment.

   there are three little words I love to hear, that remind me how amazing the world is, and always makes me smile: WELCOME TO WALMART!!!

   Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to write to myself on my wall.

   Some days it's just too hot for pants :)

   moving to Sweden where all the guys are smart enough to realize brunettes are way hotter than blondes

   NO Katy Perry, I have NEVER felt like a plastic bag!

   feel so dissed the earthquake missed me. anyone else wanna rock my world?

   convinced God made mosquitos and flies just to watch us slap ourselves

   wondering what the hell is a party rocker? Any WHY are they in my house tonight??

   what can I say? Life doesn't get much better than beer and pancakes after midnight :)

   Why are Halloween costumes so skanky??? Sorry Christmas, "ho ho ho" is now a more appropriate greeting for Halloween...

   According to scientists, due to global warming is posing a huge threat to the arabica coffee bean. You know what that means. We're one worldwide coffee shortage away from an actual zombie apocalypse.