BEGO Funny Status Messages

   The first person who offers to tell you about the facts of life usually doesn't have a clue...

   Life is full of rejection. Even my credit card has been denied

   If you find something wrong with EVERY person you meet maybe its because you haven't been introduced to yourself!

   During a breakup, women need tissues for tears... men also need tissues, but for a different reason.

   Pandora: *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* runs out of skips.. *changes station*

   In 1969, nearly 600 million people tuned in to watch Neil Armstrong walk on the moon. Now we have 'The Bachelorette'.

   Sometimes I wish I could be one of my friends for 1 day, to see how it is to hang out with me..

   I wish there was a rewind button in life.

   Single life might be lonely, but at least I'm always with my favorite person

   I love people who gossip behind my back... that's just where they belong, behind ME!

   Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you "Yeah.. So is a grenade.?

   Oh, you brought a laptop with you to Starbucks? You must be so very important.

   Will you write on your girlfriend's Facebook wall telling her how much you love each her?" ~Said Nobody, ever.

   If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you're not naked near enough.

   Be yourself" is the worst advice you can give to some people.

   Starbucks really knows how to put the "fee" in coffee.

   For all of those that think alcohol is a problem... according to Chemistry: Alcohol is a solution. Thanks science!

   Being nice to the people you don't like isn't called 2 faced, its called growing up.

   I remember in 1st grade, if you were the line leader you were the s$it!

   BEST ADVICE: Stick to One-Night-Stands, The biggest cause of marriage is dating.