BEGO Funny Status Messages

   The people in horror movies would live a lot longer if they listened to me in the audience.

   All my friends are getting jobs, engaged, or married. I'm just getting more awesome.

   Cool things always happen when I don't have a camera.

   Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.

   I swear ugly people find love faster.

   My EX is crazy, if her emotions were on my iPod, they would be on shuffle.

   Todays Generation – “omg my parents never let me have nything.” via iPhone

   It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

   Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry. They tease each other, knock down each other irritate each other but can't live without each other.

   LIKE if you know what this means… Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A.

   Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram sometimes make me forget I have text messages.

   Sometimes, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.

   Where is the button to restart summer?

   If you have time to update your status after your wedding, you're doing it wrong.

   How embarrassing would it be if Facebook automatically updated statuses to what you where doing. “Billy is alone in his room.”

   If you're constantly posting “loving my life!” as your Facebook status, you're probably not.

   A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman...but a beautiful woman with a brain is a lethal combo.

   Every time I fart in my office, it's always 2 seconds before someone decides to walk in.

   Drunk Logic: "she's only ugly in the face."

   Yellow, Orange, Red. Gatorade has colors, not flavors.