love Funny Status Messages

   i love when my parents go away and leave me money for food.. little do they know I spend it on drugs and alcohol!

   I love when you say something that is just dripping with sarcasm and people still can't figure it out.

   my ex downgraded and I upgraded.love it

   More people chose to be religious more from their fear of hell than their love of their faith.

   Never ever give a woman a straight answer. Give them gay answers, they love gay answers.

   I love a good meal at the deli. Where else can I go to get an overabundance of nitrites, nitrates, saturated fats, cholesterol and sodium all served up on weird bread that contains seeds?

   How she gonna wake up and not love me no more? I thought I was the ass-hole in this relationship, I guess its rubbing off.

   “I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullsh*t”

   Don't worry about the problems in North Korea, besides the destroyer......we've sent the B52's over. They'll surrender once they've listened to Love Shack a few times.

   If You Can't Be With The One You Love... Slap The One You're With!

   I'm concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn't tell everyone on FB how much I love them.

   It ain't rocket science folks, women LOVE douchebags.

   If you love her then you should hold her hand in public because women need to be lead around by a man or they will have no clue what to do.

   Love your job but don't love your company because you may not know when your company stops loving you.

   Love is never having to use a c ondom.

   If you love someone, buy a bouncy castle. No one would leave you if you own a bouncy castle.

   Due to recent developments in the love market, my emotional trust funds are temporarily frozen.

   I love my lucky rabbit's foot because nothing says good fortune like the severed limb of an adorable, defenseless, woodland creature.

   If you love someone set them free. If they comeback, probably it was a Fast & The Furious Movie.

   it's better to lose a lover than to love a loser