BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn't hate.

   Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

   Teacher: Get out a sheet of paper. Student: LOOK AT ME NOW! Teacher: Excuse me? Student: I'm GETTIN' PAPERRRR!

   Dad: A bird told me you are doing drugs... Boy: You're talking with birds and I'm the one doing drugs?!

   There's no better feeling than proving someone wrong.

   sometimes when I'm bored I lay on my kitchen floor and pretend I'm a crumb..

   The people who wear Bluetooth headsets always look like the people least likely to ever receive phone calls.

   Best Way to deal with High School Bullies: Grow up to be smarter, richer and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook.

   Some people dream of success, others are awake & work hard at it.

   Sunglasses were invented so you can stare at me while you're with your girlfriend.

   Somebody needs to start a restaurant called "Chick-Fil-Atheist" that's only open on Sunday.

   That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a life saber to open it...

   I wish that some people would realize that talking isn't necessary.

   Call my girlfriend.. Call my girlfrien.. Call oy girly.. Call of gurty.. Call of duty.

   You have "Swag"? I bet that looks great on your McDonald's application.

   Sick of seeing photos of everyone's food? Post a few of your meals on their walls...post digestion.

   If our olympic athletes really eat McDonalds… We're screwed.

   People nowadays take pictures, not for memories, but to post them on facebook and get comments.

   On facebook* Hot person status: Just ate lunch. *86 likes 30 comments* .. Average persons status: *today is my birthday! *mom likes this

   True Freedom: Taking a dump with the door open.