CzovCzov Funny Status Messages

   Miracles do happen even on Facebook and Twitter. Come Sunday and suddenly everyone becomes a preacher.

   Alcohol was created as a social lubricant, to make men brave and women loose.

   Even that crack on the wall becomes more interesting when you're meant to be studying.

   GUY: Babe, let's go to the zoo! GIRL: Sorry but I'm not ready to meet your family.

   Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It just means that you found the right medication.

   Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?

   Marriage is the opposite of prison; the better you behave, the longer your sentence.

   People who describe things as "better than sex" are obviously having the wrong kind of sex.

   You don't have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.

   Oh, you hate drama? Please continue to dramatically complain about it.

   Someone has stolen my wife's knickers off the washing line.............. They can keep the knickers but, please, bring back the 28 pegs.

   69… you get what you give!

   Look, I'm just saying that somewhere between Jesus dying on the cross and a giant bunny hiding eggs... There seems to be a gap of information!

   If you are talking to me and I appear as if I'm attentively listening, I'm probably just silently correcting your grammar in my head.

   When someone texts you 'k', just reply, "L M N O P Q R S T you V W X why Z"

   Best pick up line? Lets go eat. I'm paying!

   No human society exists without booze or religion. That's why we drink religiously.

   Please don't bore your friends with your troubles and worries. Tell your enemies instead, who will be delighted to hear about them.

   An expert has predicted computers will eventually replace paper altogether. He has obviously never tried to wipe his ass with a laptop!

   You know something is seriously wrong, when you double the value of your car every time you fill up the tank.