BEGO Funny Status Messages

   thinks God invented whiskey so the Irish would never rule the world!

   Without Facebook, I probably wouldn't have wished you a happy birthday. ツ

   You don't have to like me. I'm not a facebook status.

   Marriage is like a late night phone call. You get a ring and then you wake up.

   “I'm Single ” doesn't mean ” I'm looking for somebody “, just thought you should know.

   Facebook should change ” It's complicated ” to ” It's confusing & stressful. “

   Don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

   True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.

   Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who's free for the weekend

   I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.

   When a man signals a woman to walk in front & says, “Ladies first” it really means “Go ahead. I'll stand back & watch how your ass walks.”

   I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.

   Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.

   A friend knows there's something wrong by the way you act but a best friend can tell through just a text message

   I found out it was really hot outside by actually venturing out there. WTF Facebook? You are suppossed to tell me these things first.

   A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.

   If it's free, it's advice; If you pay for it, it's counseling; If you can use either one, it's a miracle !

   I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper

   You remind me of my Chinese friend.. Ug Lee

   If you only have one photo on you're Facebook you are either a spammer, or a loser, either way don't request me as a friend.