life Funny Status Messages

   The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. I just did 15 push ups. True story!

   When life hands you lemons, squirt the juice in your eye..the stinging sensation will stop your whining.

   wishes he could delete people in real life as fast as he can his facebook friends.

   Life is like a warm cookie, you think you got it in one peice then it all crumbles

   thinking about everyone who came into my life and made it better... thanks! :)

   As a young child Bell, Biv, Devoe taught me the most important life lesson----Never trust a big butt and a smile....that girl is poison

   I believe on of the biggest problems in my life is that I don't listen to enough MC Hammer.

   I believe my entire life is one complicated drinking game...

   If Longfellow was right, that "Into each life a little rain must fall", I choose to have the showers that fall on Bill Gates or The Donald!!

   I just balanced my checking account, and discovered that I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something or pay a bill.

   isn't it funny that when your internet goes down, your computer becomes completely uninteresting anymore? ........and you actually wanna go out and have a life?

   Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain

   you know, i've only ever been wrong once in my life, and that's when I thought I was wrong but was actually right.

   thinks life is pleasant, death is peacefull... it's the transition that is troublesome.

   . Life is like a can of beans. It lets out a toot every so often and is worth a good laugh!

   When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"

   I would not say that I am living in the fastlane, but I am experiencing life at a high rate of WTF's per minute.

   thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.

   It's amazing how many beautiful women walk into your life the week before you get married.

   When a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, does it make a sound?... When blondes have more fun do they know it? Just a couple of life's riddles that beg for an answer.