Baddie Funny Status Messages

   MAKE AMERICA DRUNK AGAIN - thats the only way we are going to get through this election.

   This election is like choosing how you want to be killed. Sir, here are your two choices. Do you want to be killed with a Hillary or a Donald?

   All I am saying is if Donald Trump was really a friend of the Gay people, one of them would have fixed his wig and makeup by now.

   I'm scared some kid is going to break into my house and fleek me to death with a bae

   If you judge me by my before coffee state of mind, we can't be friends

   I thought there'd be more sex during my sexual prime.

   some dude playing Pokémon go came inside my house to catch a Pokémon and stole my TV

   I'd love to watch Samuel L Jackson and Morgan Freeman get into a heated argument while James Earl Jones tries to stop them.

   How many points do I get if I hit a Pokemon Go player with my car?

   Taylor Swift on an episode of Scooby Doo: “And I would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling Kardashians!"

   Girl on the bus keeps looking at my crocs. This is how sex starts. Watch and learn virgins.

   It's horrifying to think that Brock Turner was tried, convicted, and served his sentence in before a Taylor Swift relationship ended.

   I hope tonight's the night when we'll finally see a presidential candidate make the jerk-off motion while the other candidate is speaking.

   Heard those ruthless and heartless thieves forced Kim K to put her clothes on first before robbing her.

   Instead of voter fraud, why don't they just call it Electile Dysfunction?

   How much of your pants are you allowed to fold up before you're mistaken for a fisherman?

   I like this mannequin challenge. It gets idiots to shut the hell up for a minute.

   Christmas; Another day of choreographed kindness and fake concern.

   Given the exploding population of idiots in our communities, I think it’s about time we required people to pass a test first before they are allowed to vote. We can’t afford to put our destiny in the hands of clueless idiots.

   The microwave sent those nudes, not me.