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Baddie Funny Status Messages
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Page: 84 of 86
Yes officer I know it seems like a lot for personal use.
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06-04-2015 13:45 by
Baddie
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20mph school zones are only making our children's reaction time worse.
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06-15-2015 13:27 by
Baddie
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Shock collars, but for co-workers
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07-09-2015 13:40 by
Baddie
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GUY 1: Why can’t we skip rope without society judging us? GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other? Boxing is born.
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07-09-2015 14:01 by
Baddie
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'Don't worry. I'll hold all your stuff. You just worry about making friends' - Fanny Packs
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07-17-2015 15:58 by
Baddie
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I don't chase after girls, unless I have my inhaler with me.
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07-19-2015 10:19 by
Baddie
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a restraining order just her way of telling me she's into bondage?
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07-19-2015 10:20 by
Baddie
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Co-workers not loving my Lenny Kravitz impersonation.
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08-06-2015 13:43 by
Baddie
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My biggest fear is meeting my soulmate in Arkansas and finding out she's a product of Centuries of inbreeding.
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08-09-2015 09:41 by
Baddie
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More coffee, less people please.
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08-24-2015 09:28 by
Baddie
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I sensed she was starting to pull away when she changed the locks to the house.
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09-30-2015 13:47 by
Baddie
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Being a nice person is so exhausting, which is why a$$holes always have so much energy.
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09-30-2015 13:49 by
Baddie
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My wife wants to speak with you. You're in deep sh*t.
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09-30-2015 14:23 by
Baddie
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If you don’t use steroids in the state of Florida, how the hell are you supposed to fight off the escaped pythons?
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10-12-2015 14:47 by
Baddie
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Today at crossfit, we had to spoon wild mountain lions.
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10-12-2015 15:06 by
Baddie
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After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
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10-27-2015 02:47 by
Baddie
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It's like grandma always said, "Buy a selfie stick and you're out of my will."
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10-31-2015 09:18 by
Baddie
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My therapist goes to her therapist five minutes after I leave.
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10-31-2015 10:00 by
Baddie
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My ex called to say that she hates me and wished I was dead, also to ask if I needed anything from the liquor store.
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06-11-2016 12:49 by
Baddie
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May the shooter's 72 virgins be all males.
38
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06-12-2016 11:00 by
Baddie
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