santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   The least knobby dot, the least knobby dot, the least knobby dot for annual quantum police thee dot… or whatever that Spanish Christmas song is saying.

   My dog wishes everyone a Merry Christmas. Fleas Navidad.

   To All Those Who Received a Book from Me as a Christmas Present....They are Due Back at the Library Today

   I saw a Kenny Loggins "Christmas Time Is Here" CD in the discount bin. I looked at the track listing on the back and was disappointed not to see "Highway To The Manger Zone".

   Last Reminder: It's St. Patrick's Day...take down your Christmas decorations.

   Ah, Easter. That lovely time of year that reminds you to take down the Christmas decorations.

   If you’ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you’ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.

   Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door.

   Spotted a house tonight with their Christmas lights already up in October and can only imagine that they work for Walmart.

   Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas play

   Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down you’re almost there

   I have a problem with gingerbread people living in houses made of their flesh, but I promised not to bring it up again and ruin Christmas again this year.

   They need to stop remaking A Christmas Carol. The Muppets did it the best. Everyone else needs to sit down and move on

   I just returned from a Christmas concert put on by the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra, Half way through, the guy on the triangle disappeared.

   Tomorrow is December 1st.... The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning now till Christmas Eve!

   Dear Santa! I want a fat bank account and a sexy body with rock hard abs for Christmas. Let's not get those two mixed up like you did last year.

   Santa, you must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during deer season?

   I am the reason Santa has a naughty list.

   Don't laugh at adults that still believe in Santa Clause, we have adults that still believe in Joe's build back better.

   Got Christmas card glitter all over me and now I can't stop stripping.