santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Pro tip: No matter how much you hate wrapping, never ask your wife to wrap her own Christmas presents.

   My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I winked at her. She bought me eye drops.

   “I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty nine and a half foot pole” -Families making Christmas plans in 2020

   Think I've been staying home isolating for too long as I just watched a Hallmark holiday Christmas movie in its entirety and I actually thought it wasn't corny.

   My Sons Teacher: December 21st Saturn and Jupiter will align to make a Christmas Star

   Sons Teacher on zoom: On December 21st Saturn and Jupiter will align to form the Christmas star. Me in background: pssst....son ask her where Uranus will be? Son: Teacher where will Uranus be? Teacher: Well it will be over here. [Points to map] Son: Uranu

   If you do not brick up your chimney this year to keep Santa out, you’re not taking this virus very seriously.

   my wife saw onlyfans on our credit card statement so now I have to get her a ceiling fan for christmas

   Getting clothes for Christmas is like getting vegetables for your birthday. Yeah, you need them, but that doesn't make them appropriate.

   I feel confidence they're going to be able to hammer out a stimulus deal by Christmas.....of 2021

   "Walking In a Wonderland" is a great Christmas song for Southerners to keep in mind since they don't know how to drive in it.

   Walking In a Winter Wonderland" is a great Christmas song for Southerners to keep in mind since they don't know how to drive in it.

   Dear Santa, To be safe I'll be staying home for Christmas, so please just drop my presents on my porch and don't bother coming down the chimney. Thanks!

   LADIES.. ! Please stop asking Santa for the perfect man..I've been kidnapped 3 times this week !!

   Just checked my bank account and it looks like everyone is getting text messages for Christmas.

   I wonder if Santa will be wearing a mask during his visit to my house this year?

   2021 will be decided by what the Chinese will eat this christmas

   Don't forget to wave smile and wish your neighbors a Merry Christmas who are kind like Facebook friends you might not really know either, but live closer.

   Just because you have a guitar, Christmas outfit and the Christmas tree doesn't necessarily mean you have the talent to sing on Facebook.

   Can someone please go to MeWe and Parlor and wish them a Merry Christmas.