BEGO Funny Status Messages

   I don't need to watch TNT for drama, I have Facebook.

   Immature: A word used by boring people to describe fun people.

   Told my son to break up with his cross-eyed girlfriend, I think she was seeing someone else.

   Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.

   Remember when you blow back up the Capri Sun pouches and try to give them to your friend hoping that they will think it's full?

   My favorite condiment is sarcasm, I put it on everything.

   Smart phones, smart cars, smart everything... Where are all the smart people?

   Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength.

   It's hard to trust someone who starts each sentence with "to be honest".

   Baby, are you Jealous? "No..." "Babe, you Jealous?" "NO!" "Baby, can I get a kiss?" "GO AND GET A KISS FROM THE H$E THAT LIKED YOUR STATUS!"

   I wonder what the blood alcohol level is of all these mosquitos that keep biting me?

   HIGH SCHOOL made everyone either cool , uncool , bisexual , real , fake , pregnant , dropouts , alcoholics , pot heads or somewhere in jail.

   People who make me do a slight jog because they hold the door open for me when I'm 15 feet away are the first to die when I become God.

   Dear girls who take a pic in slutty clothing & glasses & label the caption "nerddd lol" You're not a nerd, you're a w$ore who found glasses

   One loyal Girlfriend is worth more than one hundred hoes..

   God made us plain and simple, but we have made ourselves complicated and difficult.

   $2.75 Trojans or $19.99 Huggies? You make the decision.

   16 and pregnant? What about 18 and graduated ? 22 and successful?

   Becareful, the only reason some people decide to get married is just so they can start blaming someone else for their disaster of self.

   WARNING: Unhealthy relationships may cause headaches, stress & a waste of your time. The cure for this is to be single.