SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages

   When you say the word “poop” your mouth does the same motion as your butt hole. The same can be said for the phrase, “explosive diarrhea.”

   I used to think the brain was the most interesting part of the body. Then I realized what was telling me that.

   Ugh. Do I really need to register to your website to leave a comment? I just need to disagree with this assh0le real quick.

   Leaving a watermelon on someone's doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.

   Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.

   There's a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the "close this ad" button.

   I come from a long line of people waiting to get in.

   FACT: There is nothing that says “douchebag” better than a Facebook profile picture of your car.

   Every rule has an exception, especially this one.

   Turns out Smart Cars also make great fridge magnets.

   Some french fries are excellent, and other french fries are just an acceptable way to eat ketchup.

   I can't believe it. I saw on the news where a midget got pick pocketed in broad daylight...how could anyone stoop so low?

   My demographic doesn't include folks unfamiliar with the word demographic.

   Trying to write a screenplay about an overcrowded cemetery but there's no plot.

   Christianity should not be cover for Douchebaggery.

   The Supreme Court is like regular court but with sour creme, guacamole and extra cheese.

   I'll catch you later: Cool thing to say to a friend, scary thing to say to a child.

   In 2013, my first status will be “is anyone alive?”

   Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" is a clever little b@stard.

   Instagram is down! I'm freaking out! What are you people eating? How are your pets? What the hell is happening???