BEGO Funny Status Messages

   To all the fat chicks that only take pics from the neck up .... good try ... good try.

   Monday isn't so bad if you lube up.

   Follow your heart, but bring your brain for back-up.

   Do I really need a 3ft receipt for buying a coke and a pack of gum?

   It's only a matter of time until "Security Cameras of Wal-Mart" is a reality TV show.

   Strange how I'm only on Facebook when I'm on the toilet... I'm literally giving a s$it while reading stuff I don't give a s$it about.

   S.I.N.G.L.E. = (S)tress (I)s (N)ow (G)one (L)ife's (E)asier

   Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me a damn secrets???

   Thanks to push-up bras and low cut shorts, I can now get to 2nd base w/ your girlfriend just by looking at her FB profile pic.

   We live in a culture where we are surrounded by smart phones and stupid people.

   If I started my own Chip Company, I'd fill the bags to the top!

   I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.

   I let my girlfriend wear the pants in our relationship, but it's me that decides when they come off!

   So Siri is basically a chick that has no personality and claims to know everything? ...Sounds like my ex!

   Jail, I mean school. Sorry, I can't tell the difference

   LIFE TIP: Next time you do something illegal, look serious and carry a clipboard.

   I'm not saying she's a slut... but she's been licked more times than Wonka's Everlasting Gobstopper.

   Best friends have Conversations impossible to understand by other people…

   If your not over your EX then don't move on Cause you playing with someone else feelings!

   We all have that one person we would take back in a second, no matter how much they hurt us in the past.